Warning: This blog post is a
bit of a venting post. You can't say you weren't warned.
Okay, I have a frustration as of late;
where have all the good guys gone? It seems like 90% of the guys that I've dated have turned out to be jerks in one capacity or another. Do
not read that as me saying I haven't broken my fair share of hearts or hurt someone unintentionally that I was currently or had dated in the past, but it just seems like guy's these days have lost all sense of chivalry or even how to end a relationship with some level of decency. The recent late-in-college and post-college trend in the end of a relationship (or "just dating" because I have come to learn that guys in their 20s hate "labeling" things too) for me has been for the guy to just stop responding, making me feel like the crazy girl turned stalker. Things are normal, smooth sailing. Then one day:
nothing. zip. zilch. nada. I text; no response. I call; it gets ignored. I wait, trying to act all cool and unaffected; my mind goes into overdrive. I wait until they decide to take even 2 minutes to send a vague, non-descript text
ohhhh about 2-3 weeks after entering their black hole of communication. I can't even make this stuff up and this has not been a one, or even two time occurrence for me...more like 4 plus times.
What it really comes down to, in my feeble opinion, is that between technology and men not being
men, we (our generation) has allowed it to happen. We have 18,000 ways to get in touch with people these days, which somehow has had the opposite effect in making it that much easier to fly under the radar and fall off the communication wagon. We haven't lived to reach high, or even moderate, expectations of what it makes for a
man to be a
man and a
woman to be a
woman, so the lines have blurred. With blurred lines means blurred roles in "who does what" and "how" things ought to be handled...leading to sheepishly ending/non-ending in relationships.
And heaven forbid someone brings up emotions around a guy. That's a whole novel on its own.
This post is not meant to be a bashing of all males everywhere. I know dozens of wonderful, chivalrous, caring, emotional men. Problem for me is that they all happen to be married.
Being a single 25 year old, living at her parents' house, in grad school (with mostly other females) and working (with only girls) is not for the faint of heart.
Side note for thought: for all of my married, engaged, or serious relationship friends in their 20s that want to give me encouragement of "it's worth the wait", do not tell me you get what I'm going through unless you have gone through it. Because unless you have dated outside of college, or even the last year or 2 of college, you kind of don't understand. It's a whole different beast out there in the "real world" and as much as you want to encourage me, saying you understand is not very much on the helpful side...it usually makes me more frustrated because you seem to have forgotten all of the frustrations of the single life so very quickly. Just saying. I still love you all dearly.
Okay, onto the final point. I feel like half of this blog post is focused almost fully on disclaimers, but here's my last one. I am not tapping my foot, waiting for a ring. Yes, I would
love to get married and have kids before I feel "too old". And I know that God has some ridiculously awesome plan for me that I can't even start to understand now. But lately, I've just been tired of singleness. Tired of it because I want someone to share the ins and outs of my life with, someone to talk to at the end of the day, and someone that gives me butterflies. Cheesy as that may be, I'm still a girl and I deserve butterflies, darn it! Oh, and I can do without constantly being the ___ wheel (3rd, 5th, 7th, etc.). I am not tired of it because I want someone to complete me, because I know I won't find that in a relationship. I am not tired of it because I need a good ole boost of self-esteem because men are not perfect, nor will they always say the perfect thing. But they can make a great companion and best friend, and that's what I want.
All in all, I'm disappointed in men and women alike...well, maybe a little bit more in the men. Step up, be a man, and tell me what you're really thinking instead of trying to "not hurt my feelings" by avoiding honest conversations all together. I'm a big girl. I would prefer a truthful, albeit not easy to hear sometimes, explanation of what you want rather than being blindsided and left in the dust waiting and wondering for an answer that I usually won't get.
