Singleness at Christmas

God has given me a peace with being single...until it comes to the holidays. The past 2 and a half years, I've been single--and the last two years, I really have had a peace with it. I didn't have time to be in a relationship when I was at Georgia and I was more than okay with that fact because I knew that it wouldn't be fair to the guy I would be dating...and trust me, that was a big realization for me to come to. After graduating, I started to be a little less settled in my singleness simply because I realized that my chances of meeting people dropped drastically. Really though, it was not a big problem because I trust God has a plan greater than my own and it only takes one guy to be the right one.

But being single at Christmas time is a whole different ballpark. I love my family and look forward to spending time with them whenever I get the chance to be at home. The only problem is, well, I'm not married. And I say that this is a problem because I become alarmingly aware of my singleness around my family. Mom has dad, Kirby has Daniel, and Katie has Lee. And in effort to make me feel better, Kirby says "You at least have the Charlotte (soon to be Charlotte and other niece!) to play with." True, but everyone else wants to play with Charlotte too...and in the end, she'll always pick her mom and dad over me.

And when it comes to sleeping arrangements, I usually get kicked to the couch because we don't have to worry about anyone else but myself when it comes to going to sleep. Married people tend to sleep in the same bed, and since Kirby has twin beds in her old room and I have a full sized bed, I am forced to either sleep in a twin bed across my snoring grandmother, or opt for the couch in our bonus room.

It all becomes that much more frustrating because no one in my family really understands my singleness. Yes, they've been single before and had to wait for their spouses....but both Kirby and Katie got married the summer after they graduated from college and my mom met my dad when she was 17. So yes, they had to wait, but they haven't been single outside of college, and I am learning very quickly that that is a whole different ballpark as well. So if I hear "God has a plan." "The wait will be worth it." or anything along those lines much more...well, I'll probably just smile and say, "I know" to whoever is telling me. But know that if you say that to me, I'm smiling on the outside but cringing a little bit on the inside because hearing that a thousand times over does not make the wait any less painful.

I know that being in a relationship does not make everything easier...in fact, I know that it can make life a little more of a challenge at times. But I envy my sisters and their marriages because they have someone to go through life with. Someone to talk to day in and day out, a best friend, a constant. If God has a husband in my future, I am trusting in Him and His perfect plan because I know my plan is flawed and His is so much greater. But waiting becomes that much harder during Christmas time. A whole, whole lot harder.